American Idol – Minneapolis Snoozefest

So did anyone else look like me last night? I dare say it was almost difficult to write this post. I was pretty Chatty Kathy while talking to some friends about the show last night, but upon trying to remember the favorites from last night I feel like I’m almost at a loss. This show was pretty much a snoozer, no?

snooze andy cohen

I remember some of the bad contestants, but really only one or two come to mind from Minneapolis, as even worth remembering. I do remember the trio of weirdly named girls (Ovens/Noe’l/Guns), and that there was a girl who shot a bear… but other than that, man was that show a drag. I think had I not been talking to my friends, I might’ve genuinely fallen asleep.

I also know that for a solid 10 minutes of the show I was waxing poetic on whether or not I like JLo. She’s always been kind of a thorn in my side on Idol (never to the extent of Randy or Mariah) but still. I never liked her. That said, I feel like her no’s this season have been just as spot on as Harry’s. The other reason, I’m sure, that influenced my change in tune was finishing my spirit animal, Andy Cohen’s book a few months ago (which I HIGHLY recommend if you love pop culture) when he talks about the first time he had her on the show and how he thought she’d be this huge diva but she was totally down to earth, and then she came back to cheer on her BFF Leah Remini and he said again, she was just Jenny from the Block. And her whole talk tonight acknowledging she isn’t the best singer? I mean, no true diva would do that. So maybe I don’t hate her? Maybe we could be cool. I mean, if Andy likes her I’m sure I would. Honestly if I ever met her I’d probably be stunned into silence by her beauty and just stare at her. That’s kind of my M.O. for meeting celebrities.


So, basically any time I go off into these dream worlds in my mind, I know the show is kind of a stinker because good TV will hold my attention. So with that lets talk about my favorites and then the rest of the show.

I’m not sure there was Top 24 talent tonight but there were definitely 2 (maybe 3 now that I’ve had a chance to re-watch the performances) that at least have a tiny chance of making it through Hollywood week.

Oh also first and foremost, anyone who knows me, knows I don’t trust people with 2 first names (but since I’m sure these aren’t their actual last names, I’m going to assume these two are fine upstanding citizens).

Vanessa Andrea – Some Kind of Wonderful

Look folks, I know I say “lead with your song” but I mean, I’m not heartless. I was totes crying when she started crying thinking about her husband. It looked to me like genuinely unexpected emotion, which I understand, and definitely have more compassion for. And, lucky for you, Vanessa, the singing was wonderful (even after just crying! I can’t wait to hear you sing when you’re in a better state of mind)! I will say her devotion to Keith creeped me out just a bit but hopefully that dies down like it did for Lauren Alaina and Steven Tyler. That still gives me the heebeejeebees. Actually that whole judging panel still gives me PTSD flashbacks.

Audition5 - MarkAndrew
Mark Andrews – Soulshine/Be Like You

I mean come on, how you gonna sing a song from the Jungle Book and have me NOT like you? I LOVE YOU! Also I thought the age cutoff was 26? Did he say he’s 29? I actually liked Soulshine more, but I like anyone that does a playful song [well]. He could be the Phillip Phillips of this season (I still swoon over his rendition of Thriller, and I forget about his southern twang. Now THAT GUY, is an Idol).

Also I’m pretty sure he was on Shakira’s team on The Voice (I like him more with the guitar).  Who knows though, he could be it. If anyone is making it to the Top 24 from tonight, I genuinely think it’ll be him.

The OK’s of Minneapolis: I’m going to just keep these folks to 140 characters.

Shannon Berthiaume – House of the Rising Sun
She was fine, and looks like a young Emma Stone, but she deserved a “Not Ready Yet” response. Three words: Control your tone.

As for the 3 weirdly named girls…

Morgan Ovens (Hand in my Pocket) I think you were good? You were certainly my favorite of the montage-d.

Gabrielle Noe’l (Lovesong) You know you took those runs from Candice Glover… but it was a spot on impersonation. I wish Jlo hadn’t been telling her story over you (not your fault. The producers just clearly need someone talking over someone else, ever night, so even when the judges aren’t talking over people, they’re montaging it so that they talk over people. Lovely).

Courtney Guns (Independence Day) I was too obsessed with your last name/song choice to really focus.

Zach Johnson – Don’t Close Your Eyes
Why are they asking you to sing w/o an accent? Keith doesn’t have a southern accent, and he sings with one! #doesntmatter #lasttimeillseeyou

Aaron Bissell – Not sure?
I don’t even know what you sang, but you sounded ok. Here’s hoping I get another listen.

Cindy Jo Scholer – Crazy
You kill a bear, You get a ticket. She’s kind of a screamer. And the beat up bear costume afterward was stupid.

Jacob Tolliver – Whole Lotta Shakin’ Going On/Stay With Me
Great pianist. He’d be so fun at Howl at the Moon. He would not be fun on Idol. He’s a mimick. Maybe something I’m not seeing #timewilltell

Hanna Mozrak – Somethings Got a Hold on Me
Definitely not terrible. Her voice can’t be 16. Maybe that’ll peek out later but for now I’m glad she’s in!

Categories: American Idol, Television | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

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