Top 04 – Another Theme Down the Drain

Screen shot 2013-04-24 at 9.49.12 PM

Good lord this episode. I have so many things. I ranted for like, 3 full paragraphs last night but I deleted it because I think I just sounded like a crazy person sounding off, but I still want to get my points across as to why last night sucked so much (And this still might be random, and it still may make me look neurotic but it’s a risk I’m willing to take):

1. The Song Choices – As has been somewhat of a theme this year, the song choices were terrible. Keith, I was feeling you when you asked if there were any One Hit Wonders from this decade – in fact, there are many. Many, former American Idol contestants! But the long and the short of it is that there were so many better songs to pick from. Ahem… so why they picked this drab group of song choices is just beyond me. I’d be hard-pressed to believe these girls even really knew these songs before they sang them. How does one not know a certain Beatles song, but they know “Whiter Shade of Pale”? I actually do believe Kree probably knew that song but that’s not my point. I think you get my drift. And a part 2 about the song choices – If you hadn’t known what the theme was, wouldn’t you have guessed “Songs by One Hit Wonders made famous by more important bands”? That’s sure what it seemed like to me!

2. Can we please for the love of god stop worshiping at the shrine of Amber and her “Complete Package”? Why not just say that complete package means the right look? Because that’s really all they mean. She’s no better a singer than any of the other contestants. Maybe she’s tied with Angie… maybe. It’s just infuriating to see the judges praise her lackluster and barely mediocre performance of whatever that second song was that she sang.

3.Poor, poor Candice. She was barely even critiqued the second time because all the judges (except Keith) had to fight with Jimmy about his critique. And why always wait for it to be Candice’s turn for a critique to bring up problems you’re having with the evening. Say it in between contestants when Ryan asks you how the night is going or something. Or say it when it after the first round (because there were definitely some old choices in that bunch, and when Amber bursted into her second old/drab song choice, I think that would’ve been the perfect time to say something about terrible song choice. You know, maybe TO the girl who needed the critique?!#Q@#%@$^).

WHAT I THOUGHT OF JIMMY'S CRITIQUE

WHAT I THOUGHT OF JIMMY’S CRITIQUE

4. My biggest problem with Amber is that while everyone see her as the complete package, she doesn’t have that likability factor of the people she’s compared to. I mean, Kenya Moore is more Beyonce than Amber is. At least Kenya has a personality.

I have a lot more to say but I’ll just put it with my actual performance pieces. I’ve also included my physical reactions to all the performances tonight. You’re welcome.

Amber Holcomb – Power of Love

bored

If this were Diva’s week, this would be the exact song I’d expect to see Amber pick. I don’t know if she only didn’t pick it because Kree was singing Celine but this would’ve been perfect for that. I’ll also, in my “Say 3 nice things before saying anything mean” say that she looked SUPER hot tonight. I can’t deny that the pant suit and hair were sexy (that counts as 2 nice things because I said pants AND hair). I thought this was most certainly the better of her two performances of the evening but even this one lacked that “Idol Moment” that it could have possessed. This song has just been so many times on Idol. It only proves even more how stale Ambers song picking ability is. Ok so now that those were my 3 nice things (possibly with a few mean things interspersed), stay tuned for my next review of Amber later on.

Oh, and Jimmy, “She didn’t sound great, but she’ll be hard to beat” – what the EF does that even mean?

Candice Glover – Find Your Love

um no

Candice gave Amber quite the gift this week. It’s almost confusing but I guess if she’s a big Drake fan then it makes sense… but if Candice were smart with her positioning, she should have done another power ballad like Amber, just to prove to the judges how MUCH better she is than Amber. BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. Here’s the thing with Candice, while I may not always agree with her song choices (or know her song choices), she does something with a song to make it her own, more than any other contestants in this show. While this may not have been my favorite performance of hers, I still thought it was original (after listening to what the original sound sounded like), very well sung, and showed absolutely zero vocal strain even though she’s clearly got a super bad cold (unlike contestants who may or may not have performed before her and strained their voice on the entire second half of the song). I also liked that she picked a song from the last 10 years (1 of a mere 2 times that happened tonight). How Nicki would call it old fashioned is beyond me, when Candice’s song was literally almost 20 years older, and that’s just when Celine sang it!

What I have to bitch the most about though goes by the name of Randy F-Bomb Jackson. Um yeah, “It can’t always be for church”? What.The.Freaking.Hell.

I’m sorry but when did he say that ever, to Joshua Ledet, or Jacob Lusk or even Fantasia for that matter? Why is he telling Candice this? Hopefully it’s just because he wishes he’d said it to those other guys. Gah. It just makes me angrier and angrier thinking about Candice and her critiques this evening.

Thank you Mariah and Keith for being somewhat, the voice of reason.

Kree Harrison – It Hurt So Bad

mckayla-maroney-not-impressed

I only say not impressed because I would’ve liked something more current, something more interesting, something that wasn’t this song. Her voice was still as impeccable as always but clearly the judges are passed actual singing quality in their critiques now that they have a Top 4. The only reason I even remotely agreed with Nicki’s comments about people blowing smoke up her ass, was because I think to some extent Nicki is right that Kree should be worried to be in the bottom 2. BUT, that’s only because of their unwarranted praise of She who shall not be named. I still don’t think Nicki needed to be so negative though, especially on what could be Kree’s last night.

Angie Miller – Who You Are

loveyou

Sure everyone was concerned when they realized Angie was singing yet another Jessie J. song. The good thing is, not a lot of people are super proficient with the Jessie J. songbook and as an artist she certainly hasn’t been featured on Idol much, if at all, before this season. For me, this was a perfect song for, and a perfect performance by Angie. I mean, if you’re going to give someone point for being hot and having a better than average ability to sing, give it to Angie, not Amber. She’s certainly the only one I think that was deserving of a Standing O’ of the performances tonight. All of them, not just the ones up to this point. This performance was everything it needed to be, to keep her in the Top 3, if there was even a chance she wouldn’t be in the Top 3.

I’ll mention that I was right on Mariah’s wavelength thinking that the powers that be picked this performance so that Angie would sing another original. but has anyone thought that maybe just maybe that was her only good song? It’s definitely possible. I still think that Ryan saying they had a big surprise for tomorrow, might have something to do with songwriting maybe, but I mean, if Candice and Amber stay, I don’t really see them as songwriters – but maybe that will give Angie a reason to shine? It’s certainly her chance to just build on the performance she had tonight.

Oh, and the only thing I love more than Angie and her performance? One clue…

Granny_(_character_of_looney_tunes_)

Amber Holcomb – MacArthur Park 

confused2

mixed with a little bit of this

 atworktumblr_mfad85C7zm1ql5yr7o1_400

and finally a little bit of this

really bad

Oh Btitney, always the voice of reason. Things I thought about this performance: Bad. Strained. Off key. Old. Boring. That note she held forever that felt like it would never end… gahhhhhh.

But worst of all, and I do mean possibly, ok we’ll call this the second worst thing to happen tonight (I’ll get to the worst with Candice) was how Nicki, rather than critiquing ANYTHING just said she’d like to get to know Amber… and that you like how she takes chances? How is singing this drab old song with about as much enthusiasm as a wet mop, TAKING A FREAKING CHANCE????? I just don’t understand this? And for Randy and Mariah to stand for that performance? I mean, I gave up giving them any credit when they give a Standing O because they’re just so damn free with them to begin with, but what on earth were you standing for?????????????? Randy have you ever even HEARD Rihanna? How you compare the two ladies, I mean, you might as well compare waffles with oranges. They have THAT much in common. I dunno. That’s probably a terrible comparison but I’m angry and ranting so deal with it. Please. And thank you. Jimmy calling this performance corny was so beyond accurate that it’s even more infuriating that…. ok sorry, I’m going to Candice.

Candice Glover – Emotion 

GlassCaseofEmotion

Sure, Candice’s choice of One Hit Wonder wasn’t my favorite. Did she sing it well? Of course she did. Did she bring everything she could to what is unfortunately a drab song? Hell yeah. Would you know it from what the Judges said to her? Hell.No. I think Mariah was the only one who even gave somewhat of a critique while also mentioning Candice’s cold. At least she has a little bit of sympathy. I guess you can tell who the mother among the judges.

This performance just reminded me of that girl who came in to audition after Nicki and Mariah were fighting crying that she just wanted everyone to get along. First of all, Jimmy is completely entitled to his ACCURATE opinion. Secondly, you don’t need to comment/defend your opinion. Third, Keith, I know I already yelled at you for this but of all the times to bring up song choices, only to further inflame Nicki’s anger toward Jimmy and bring her argument back again. To say this entire “judgment” was overdramatic is an understatement. The only good thing was Jimmy affirming how much better Candice is as a singer than Amber. I think he did that. I don’t know, maybe in my anger I just made up what I wanted to hear and go to my happy place.

Kree Harrison – Whiter Shade of Pale

this concerns me

Kree, girl, I love you, but this was BO-RING.

She sang it so well, and if I needed a good little lullaby to sing me to sleep, this would be a great choice, but I really just did not love this. I really wanted to, but I didn’t. I’ll leave it at that.

Angie Miller – Cry Me a River

i hate everything

I just don’t understand. Angie was my little beam of hope prior to hearing her song choice, which obviously wasn’t going to be a Justin Timberlake cover (which I would’ve much preferred). This song choice was just a barf. This whole theme ended up being a giant bag of crap. I don’t know if it’s the judges or the contestants that are to blame but I mean, where’s the Adam Lambert? Where’s the Blake Lewis or the Haley Reinhart or the Carly Smithson? All had such great song choices, whether original or one that was just perfect for the theme of the night – these contestants were just so good at it. But these contestants? The ones in season 12? Gosh… I mean, they couldn’t lack more song choice creativity if they tried. Thusly, I really hope this was the producers fault.

And with that…

stressful evening

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