Oh this night. This crazy crazy night. Right off the bat Ryan announced that if you, the audience, had a theme idea (original or otherwise), you could tweet to #ATTIdolThemeNight. Well thanks for that Producers! You’re going to let US lowly viewers pick a theme night? How kind of you! And smart, really. Well, I thought it was smart but I had a lot of problems with it too:
1. What’s the point of even having a theme when it’s such a loosely held to standard (Evanescence is classic rock now? “What About Love” isn’t a ballad?) – I actually went and wikipedia-ed all the songs and only half really fell into even a quasi-classic rock genre.
2. Something tells me you already have your theme ideas and you’re just waiting for the 5 or 6 twitter users who recommend that theme, so you can say “The world requested it!” Sorry viewers, the world really wanted a Country Theme!
3. People have some terrible ideas.
I’ll talk about this whole thing at the end of the review because I want to get to the actual performances and what the contestants had to say about each other, first. I won’t say much about the group performances except to say that I didn’t really love any of them and I don’t think this group is great at performing with others. Also I feel bad for whoever gets stuck on tour singing any kind of duet/group performances with Lazaro. God that guy is just terrible. I’m sorry, yes, sad story, blah blah blah, but he’s just not good. Not compared to the competition left. Or the competition that’s got the boot the last two weeks, for that matter!
Burnell Taylor – You Give Love a Bad Name
I liked that everyone pointed out how bizarre Burnells Louisiana accent is, but should they have also mentioned his inability to speak English? I mean, “I’ve been knowin’ the song” “Way Much Easier”? Come on now.
His failing was not limited to just the English language. It also goes for his performance tonight. I completely agreed with Randy (RIP my better judgment). He was totally off from the music. It was almost like bad dubbing in a music video or something. And to say that something isn’t what the contestant wanted to sing, well, that’s the game, player. You can’t just not perform well and hope people vote off Lazaro. FYI – Lazaro wasn’t too bad tonight, and you went first. Who’s more likely to go home? I think it’ll be closer than Burnell wants it to be. Although I also fear that if Burnell were to be given the ax, the judges could very well use their save. I feel like if they don’t use it this week, they may never use it. You don’t want to use it too late in the game. I just think the judges were entirely too night to him tonight and if nothing else I hope his spot in the bottom 3 helps him recognize that the judges and the voting audience are very different. At least I hope they’re very different.
Kree Harrison – Piece of My Heart
How I bypassed Janis Joplin as an option for Kree is beyond me. As soon as I heard she was singing some Janis I just thought “Yessss”. It was just Amazing. Beautiful. Perfection. Yes, I would’ve preferred a little bit of a growl in her voice ala Haley Reinharts rendition (one of the five other times this song has been performed on the Idol stage). Haley’s is still my favorite. You can hear that husky growl. It’s great. I still really liked Kree’s. I also loved that all the contestants were talking about how kind she is and how she loves everyone. Makes me like her that much more 🙂 Also it bothered me that Keith made a point to bring up her pinched nerve. I mean, Kree clearly doesn’t want the pity and she didn’t seem to want it known she was even injured in the first place. They did it later with Candice too. I mean, these girls don’t need any kind of pity. They’re amazing singers and that’s enough!
Janelle Arthur – You May Be Right
I really liked this song choice and I really liked her rendition of it. She made it seem like a country song and I enjoyed that. She was the one that seemed to have the most fun and genuinely pick a song that classifies as Classic Rock. Her outfit, while atrocious, I loved her reasoning for wearing the boots – “I thought they fit the rock theme because they’re stoned” hahaha. And they looked really cute with Nicki’s outfit so maybe it’s just one of those things where if she’d had the right outfit they could’ve been cute. Also, I saw Michael Slezak captured this little image of Nicki’s reaction to Randy wearing the fringe vest and it’s too hilarious not to share!
Lazaro Arbos – We Are the Champions
Ok, I know I shouldn’t be saying this, I don’t even see how these words are coming out of my mouth, but I really fucking like this. HOW IS THIS HAPPENING??? WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME? I don’t understand it. I mean, this is by FAR my least favorite Queen song, but I don’t hate this. I kind of love it. **bows head in shame and walks away** I know what you’re thinking.
I didn’t want to like it. I had every intention of hating it for a multitude of reasons. And for all intents and purposes, I still want Lazaro to go home (or Burnell) just with the whole of his body of work and lying about how long he had to learn songs and for how terrible he is singing with other people. But this single performance, I really really liked it. Let’s be real, my judgment went out the window when I agreed with Randy in the first place.
Candice Glover – (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction
I thought Candice singing the Rolling Stones would give me that ugly growl kind of thing I was looking for. It kind of did, I’ll say it almost did. It just didn’t give it to me in the 100% way I wanted it. It was close. It was still one of the best of the night (Top 5 for sure) but it just wasn’t my favorite of Candice’s. I don’t know if I’d put it higher than Ambers or Angies, but at the same time, I liked it more because it was legit a Classic Rock song unlike Angie and Amber’s. So there. I dare say she was the most Classic Rock of the bunch when it came to the voice. Also I only liked her more when she talked about wanting to punch Burnell in the face. Me too, honey. Me too.
Amber Holcomb – What About Love
I didn’t write a single thing during Ambers performance. Why? I think I was busy doing this…
Angie Miller – Bring Me to Life
If there was any one intro package that made me like a contestant less, it was Angie. The happy clapping? Ugh… All that being said, her performance was pretty good. This was a perfect song for her to sing and I agreed with whatever judge mentioned that this is where she wants to go with her artistry. But really, I don’t think this song should’ve been anywhere near this theme night. It reminded me of something that gets brought up in Top Chef a lot. As long as it’s amazing, it doesn’t really matter if it fits into the theme. I think Angie’s performance was the very definition of that critique.
Ok, now lets talk about that ATTIdolTheme thing.
I thought I’d show you all what the world had to say as far as what they think a good theme night is. Obviously there were the unoriginal people who just said they wanted a Country night, a Frank Sinatra night, a Showtunes night – the thing about all those nights is that they’ve been done! I realize some of them might’ve been good themes (I loooove a showtune as much as the next person) but if you’re going to let the world pick, how about some original themes? I picked through twitter and broke down the responses into a few categories. First, lets look at some of the more hilarious and hilariously bad ideas:
I get that a lot of teen girls watch this show but really, a One Direction or Justin Beiber theme night? Please god no! And as for Metal, well, I feel the same way as I feel when Rap was suggested – that’s just not singing. It’s a type of music, sure, and certainly requires a good performance, but singing isn’t something that Metal bands and Rappers do (on the whole) so having them as a theme night is just a terrible idea. And really, a Mariah Carey theme night? I mean, it’s been done, they just called it “Inspirational Song Night”. Now, the hilarious ones, were most definitely hilarious. When I saw that “Songs Burnell Knows” I cracked up. I aslo saw one that I couldn’t find again when making these was “Songs Sanjaya Ruined” which really made me laugh, because there are many of those! And as for a Weird Al theme? I mean, it’s not something I’d say no to!
The next category I have is “Not Terrible Ideas” – it’s not my favorites, but they were solid suggestions with a few minor flaws. I mean, a Boy Band night could be amazing (and would encompass all those jerk offs that want a One Direction night, but if we’re being honest, it would just be a night of all ballads. The same goes for the idea of a Disney theme night, which they wouldn’t do anyway since ABC is their competitor and they own the Mouse House.
Finally, we have the ideas that I WISH I’d thought of! I didn’t include any that I have personally already suggested (although I did tweet what I’d want – Mash-Ups or Break-Up songs):
I absolutely LOVE the idea of a Mickey Mouse Club night (although again, the House of Mouse theme probably won’t see the light of day). I couldn’t decide which of these 4 were my favorite because they’re all GREAT! I’d be totally excited to see any of these themes performed! So Idol Gods, if you’re listening to me, pick one of these (or one of mine) (or one of Michael Slezak’s) themes!