Before the episode started while I was talking to some friends about the show, all I really wanted was some excitement. If I had to give advice to the contestants it would’ve been something like, keep me entertained, play something I’ve heard of…
And work it they did! At least one did. I’m sorry, but were there other performers tonight? I feel like it was just a blur until Candice Glover performed. I mean, I remember good things but all I can see in my mind is Candice Glover.
I also remember some asshat continuing to say “In it to Win it” multiple times. I swear, Randy is the kid in class that thinks everyone loves him, when in reality everyone wants to cut his throat. And just so I don’t only compare Randy to a high schooler – Mariah is the “so popular she doesn’t even know who you are”, Keith is “that hot jock that turns out is really nice and oh he can sing too because he’s good at everything” and then there’s Nicki Minaj, aka Regina George. Actually maybe she’s more of a Caddy, but only once she’s popular.
Ok now that that metaphor is over, can we just get back to Candice Glover? I mean, I certainly can’t wait until the end of this post to proclaim my love, so I’ll just sort out these contestants from favorite to least favorite.
Candice Glover – Ordinary People
I love this. I love your song choice. I love you. I’m done. You rocked my world. YES YES YES! This song choice is definitely personal for me because it’s so very much one of my favorite songs on one of my favorite albums, but to do it so differently and yet so well, all at the same time. Flawless. Just flawless.
Angie Miller – Never Gone
If I had to pick a second favorite (And I can because we’re picking our top 5) it would be Angie Miller (or Kree Harrison). It’s difficult for me because overly religious people are a bit of a turn off for me, and Angie is clearly one of them. That being said, I try to be fair and balanced and like people based on voice. I mean, I still listen to Michael Jackson and Madonna, despite their life choices. Moving on.
Angie had the smartest performance this week. Pick a song that no one really knows, play it at the piano like that time everyone swooned over you and remind them why they swooned over you. I was swooning, that’s for sure! Oh, and for the record:
Kree Harrison – Stronger
My stupid cable went out right as she hit that “stonger” note (was this like Beyonce killing the power at the Super Dome? I mean, it wasn’t even raining yet so you can’t blame the weather). I think that note of “stronger” was enough though. I’m just going to assume the rest of the performance was amazing and move on. And thankfully the power turned back on as Nicki was talking, so at least I didn’t miss much else.
Amber Holcomb – I Believe in You and Me
She is not Whitney. She’s not bad though. If I had to pick between her, Breanna and Aubrey, it would be her (I left Tenna out because I don’t even think she has a chance, and I didn’t include Candice because there’s no comparison). When I heard someone singing Whitney was up, I thought it was going to be Candice singing but Amber threw me off. She gets the first “In It To Win It” whether I wanted it or not. For the record, I did not.
Janelle Arthur – If I Can Dream
I thought this song choice was so infinitely better than last weeks song choice and I think Janelle will owe her safety tonight (if she secures it) to that ability to pick the right song. I just hope that last week scared her a little. Girl needs to be on her toes with Kree still in the game. And Angie too for that matter.
I can’t say why I put Aubrey about Breanna. I don’t want to say it’s because she’s prettier, or that her song choice was better, or because Aubrey doesn’t think she’s Beyonce… the fact of the matter is, the heart wants what the heart wants. To be honest, I don’t really care which of them makes it into the Top 5 as long as everyone above them makes it in, first. Oh wait, what? I already picked a top 5? Well I guess that’s a non-issue then.
I’m combining these two because I didn’t really care about either of these performances, they were as forgettable as all those other nameless contestants I forgot by the days after they were voted off. But then, there was Big Crazy Ass Barb.
Zoanette “Big Crazy Barb” Johnson – What’s Love Got to Do With It
Or as many people on twitter were saying – What’s Pitch got to do, got to do with it? EVERYTHING!
I think Tina Turner was a good choice. Love her or hate her, Big Crazy Barb knows how to pick a song that suits her, and were she able to sing well consistently, I think she could’ve killed it. The operative word being “could’ve”. At least the judges finally realized she can’t sing well. It’s sad to know that she took the spot of someone who was legitimately good, but people could learn a thing or two about how to perform from her, so I hope they did that… at least with her here, it’s easier to pick the bottom 5. That all being said, if she loses tonight, I think it’ll be because of the hair. It makes her look less crazy and she needs the crazy look. And if she wins, it will be because someone hates me today.
As for my 50 votes. Here’s how they broke down (although I should’ve split it up a little more and given Breanna a few, but realistically I just think I’ve seen enough of her). And don’t hate on my one vote for Zoanette. It’s my “glutton for punishment” self. If she actually does take a spot, I’ll cry about it, but I can’t hate on her when she cracks me up with her crazy.
And with that, it’s now the boys turn, to which I have one question…