KB is Not Impressed, Sudden Death Part 4 of 4

Let’s just do a gif montage of how my night went last night…

mckayla-maroney-not-impressed

disgusted 2

boredface

headbashing

crying jess

Yeah, that about sums it up. And if you had to sum it up in one gif…

ballads

I’m not going to say that I had high hopes going into the evening. It bothers me in general that they’re separating the sexes because if it were up to me, I think I would’ve had about 14 girls and 6 guys going to Top 20.

Right off the bat, I was just hoping I would be happier at the end of this show, than at the end of last nights show. I say that because there are only 3 people I have a burning desire to see go through (4 if you include 1 that I’m not sure will make it through, the name is Gupreet #PotomacPower) and as long as they made it through, I’d be good. But that wasn’t meant to be. Not only did two of my favorites go home, but it was quite possibly one of the most boring and non-entertaining nights of Idol I’ve witnessed, to date.

My issues with this episode are many. First, of the first 4 contestants, I didn’t even know 3 of the songs (And ultimately only knew 5 of the 10). Maybe they want Idol to seem less like a karaoke contest but let me just say this – remember when Glee had them performing their own songs, and remember how they didn’t win Nationals? There’s a REASON! People I (and probably other people too) want to hear songs that they know! And if they’re songs we don’t know, they need to be EXCITING. This episode was the antitheses of exciting. I don’t know who this James Morrison character is, but apparently he was the Boys Nights Jessie J. To be honest, after tonight, I don’t even think I want to know him.

I think because I was already in a foul mood over the terrible song choices, Randy was especially annoying to me tonight as well. How many times do we need to hear how much he loves Louisiana? We’ve never heard he was from there prior to this season, at least not that I recall, and yet this season I feel like I’ve heard him talk about it 100 times. It makes me want to HATE Louisiana. Thank god Ellen and Brad Pitt love Louisiana or I would be seriously over the entire state, as much as I’m over the worst judge on Idol.

Ok so lets get to the contestants.

Mathenee Treco – A Little Less Conversation

Who would’ve thought that the only somewhat exciting performance we would see of the night would come in the first 5 minutes? Unfortunately for me. And unfortunately for Mathenee, there were two points where I realized that this would be the final time I was seeing him on this season of Idol (not including his critique, obviously). The first, mentioning that he works at a resort in the Bahamas. You might as well have just said you work on a cruise and you’re happy and that’s where you belong. Unfortunately, I think there’s a stigma associated with people who perform at resorts/on a cruise. The judges just seem to look down on them, like they’ve given up on their dream and this is what they’ve resorted to. Do I believe that? No. Not entirely. Not with Mathenee. Ever since I saw the youtube clip of him singing Sweet Transvestite, I’ve been a big fan of his and I don’t think he does it as a last resort, I think he does it because he wants to be on stage and entertain people. Unfortunately, I did think that his performance wasn’t very original and the song choice was extremely cruise ship-y. The second blow came when he was asked the infamous “What kind of artist do you want to be” – God, Randy! Why do they need a box? Why do you always do this to people?

Gurpreet Singh Sarin – Nothing Ever Hurt Like You

I felt it was a little ominous when Keith was the only one that seemed excited when he was finished. Everyone else looked a little perplexed, and as much as I wanted Gurpreet to succeed, I was too. The song choice was terrible and it made me sad for him. I was with Keith in that I wished he’d played with his guitar again. I also agreed with Nicki when she was talking about missing the intimacy. But then there was not-able-to-accurately-critique-anything Randy “Listen man, wow, dude, dog, honestly, that was terrible”. Um, how about a critique and not just saying he’s terrible. I mean, clearly Randy has no intention of letting Gupreet through, but Randy is an ass so hopefully they won’t listen to him. Secondly, if we’re going to let Big Crazy Barb through after her performance last night, couldn’t we at least let Gurpreet through? I mean, yes the performance was terrible. I can’t deny that. But he’s fun. He’s great when he gets it right. Couldn’t we at least leave it up to the live voters to see if he was worthy of staying? Also, Gurpreet, sorry I have spelled your name wrong up to this point. I guess it’s a non issue now though.

Vincent “Papa Smurf” Powell – Cause I Love You

Another worship leader, you don’t say. Are we just deciding to re-name this show “Americas Next Top Worship Leader”? At least his performance was somewhat exciting. The thing about Vincent is like, yeah he’s good, but I know in a week, I’m going to be completely over him (and probably half the girls that got through last night), but I’ll take him over Finchy in a heartbeat, because I think they’re relatively identical and Vincent hasn’t given me any reason to hate him like Finchy has. And then there was Zoanette, who seemed mere seconds away from throwing a bra on stage.

rafiki

Get it Papa Smurf!!!

Nick “Ellen Face” Boddington – Say Something Now

Ok so someone on twitter said that Nick Boddington has a face like Ellen Degeneres and now it’s all I can see. It’s weird, right?

bodding

Ok I just had to get that off my chest. So, I really like Nick. I wanted him to do well and he was one of the 3 I wanted to see go through tonight (not at the expense of Gurpreet, but I’ll blame the judges for that one). To say his performance was stellar wouldn’t be true, but at least he was true to the type of artist he wants to be. Whether that’s an artist I would listen to is debatable but I’m glad he made it through this round and we’ll see how I feel about him when it’s my turn to vote.

Josh Holiday – Original Song

Well I’ll applaud the original song, congratulations on writing something, and in a day no less. I felt like a Kanye West meme would be appropriate here where I would tell Josh that I was gonna let him finish but Angie Miller had the best original song of this American Idol season. BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT, He looks like a poor mans Nick Lachey. And you know what I have to say about Nick Lachey?

stay-out-of-it-nick-lachey

I feel the same way about Josh Holidays relationship to American Idol. Also, I feel like he’s on a quick path to future worship leader. That is not a compliment.

David Willis – Fever

Please don’t tell me this guy ALSO said he was a worship leader? Are you fucking kidding me? Terrible song choice but easy to see he has a great voice. Maybe the best “voice” of the night. How could the judges not see that? Maybe because they weren’t actually watching the show live and rather, watching it on TV like us and this was only the first time that they were seeing David. It’s sad that so many guys were banished because of poor song choice. I was pretty sure he wouldn’t make it through and wouldn’t you know it, I was right, but I’m not gonna lie, I was a little upset that I was right.

Ok so, side note, this was the point in the show where I basically stopped paying attention. I’m literally posting exactly what I wrote in my notes because I don’t think they deserve more than that.

Bryant Tadeo – NY State of Mind

Good lord would SOMEONE please sing an upbeat song? (Fever doesn’t count. Sorry David) I mean, only an hour in and I could pass out right now. I dare say I am ready to change the channel.

Burnell Taylor – This Time

Shocker – ANOTHER FUCKING BALLAD!!! He is super cute though. He’s like, Malcolm X meets Steve Urkel? Props on the weight loss too. However, I’m still bored. And I LOOOOVE John Legend. What he should’ve sung, if he was going for a John Legend vibe (see below)? Oh also, I think he could pull off some Outkast, no? Maybe some Hey Ya? That would’ve slayed!

Lazaro “Balki” Arbos – Tonight I Wanna Cry

Yes, tonight I would like to cry. Lazaro, I love ya kid but man, that was bad. Definitely your worst performance to date. I just didn’t connect it with you like I did with Bridge Over Troubled Water. I’m worried your flaws are starting to show but I hope you get strength in your fan following and man up for next week.

Cortez Shaw – Titanium

Ok this is all just too much for me now. A song that’s not even a ballad and you turn it into ANOTHER BALLAD? I mean, was it just me or did they all seem to blend together. What’s worse is that this song isn’t even a ballad and he’s making it a ballad

Ok that’s all I can handle this morning. To the contestants that went home tonight, I’ll leave you with this.

you let this happen

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Categories: American Idol, Television | 1 Comment

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One thought on “KB is Not Impressed, Sudden Death Part 4 of 4

  1. Pingback: Smart ladies love to hate reunion tours | smart ladies love stuff

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