Ok was it just me, or does Oklahoma City people from Oklahoma City just seem like a lot of fun? I would never put the city in my list of Top 10 places to visit, but everyone was just so enthusiastic and fun last night that I really feel like I’d have a blast there (if I was forced to go for some work commitment or something). I was cooking/baking during the episode so I didn’t take a ton of notes like I would usually, and then I watched a jarring episode of Scandal (#GameChanger) that I feel quasi-wiped my memory. I think I remember most of what I saw though. And I re-listened to all the performances while I was stuck in traffic this morning, so that’s good. Don’t worry folks, it wasn’t dangerous. I was literally in park for 45 minutes waiting for people to move. Watching all the performances didn’t even fill the time completely!
The best part about last night, for me, was how twice, Randy did his “1…2…3…” and the judges didn’t agree! It was like they were reading my blog or something! Finally, some disagreement. It only took until the final round of auditions! I think on both accounts where the disagreement occurred, it made sense. The Ginger was a little bit of a tough call. And the chick with the technicolor outfit (we’ll talk about her later) that butchered the National Anthem totally deserved the No, and those saying Yes, well, I dunno. I have no idea why you would allow such awfulness to go through. It was like listening to Roseanne sing the National Anthem. Ok so I guess I’m just talking about Zoanetta now. Why not. It’s a good way to start the blog off for today, anyway. I need something to bitch about. What I loved about her performance (which was most CERTAINLY not the singing, and how she got a ticket to Hollywood is beyond me! I don’t understand) was all the people on twitter talking about who she looked like. Exhibit A:
Now, let me see, who do I think is most right? I didn’t honestly know what New York (from Flavor of Love) looked like but I do remember Wesley Snipes in Too Wong Foo (a classic film I highly recommend). Lets check out these three people and see what we think. First, here’s Zoanetta, and then the 3 specimens twitter thinks she looks like…
I don’t know how she looks like New York except for the bright colors – maybe it’s her train-wrecked-ness? I definitely think that if Noxeema (Wesley Snipes drag name) and Fantasia (real name, unfortunately) had a lovechild, which is technically possible, it would definitely look a lot like Zoanetta. That’s even a viable name for said love child. Good job twitter. **UPDATE** – Nicki Minaj just tweeted that Zoanetta was Big Crazy Barb! It all makes sense now!
And if I haven’t said it enough, how on freaking EARTH did that girl get a pass? Have fun on your trip to Hollywood. I swear to god if I see you again after next week I may have to not watch the show. Remember, Idol doesn’t do auto-tune, Zoanetta.
How about now we talk about the other judges conflict of opinions. Someone that wasn’t that good but I did love, for other reasons. His name was Karl Skinner (a combination of famous pshychology names. Interesting). I don’t know if you know this but we just got a new dog and his name is also Karl (after this Karl, not the psychologist).
No relation. Obviously. What I loved about Idol Karl was his quote – “I’m gonna prove that Gingers have soul” Although I was kind of hoping he was being self deprecating and had said “I’m gonna prove that Gingers have A soul” which would’ve been even funnier. I also don’t believe he deserved a ticket, but he deserved one more than Zoanetta.
Now, since we’re talking about the characters of the evening, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Oscar, and his owner, Halie Hilburn. Or maybe I should mention my inherent fear, nay, immense fear of ventriloquism. I hate how so many show characters have some weird episode where someone tries to be a ventriloquist, or their friends all find out that they have some hobby of ventriloquism. It’s not that popular. It’s weird. And creepy. And no one needs to pretend a puppet is talking. Maybe it comes from my fear of talking dolls. I don’t know, but I do know that they creep me out, and Oscar, adorable stuffed animal or no, you were freaky and so was your weird ass owner. I think these two tweets completely sum up my feelings towards Oscar:
Ugh. So many things to find creepy!! Yes, the girl, whatever her name was, had a very nice voice, but I just can’t get passed Oscar. Now, all that being said, and I may sound contradictory here, but when she just GAVE Oscar to Ryan? Man, that bitch is cold. (A producer later tweeted that the girl took Oscar back and she didn’t go home with Ryan. Obvs. Ryan would never want that filthy creepy puppet anywhere near him!) Here were some other slightly funny Oscar related tweets that I also thought I’d share. Especially the second one. That gave me a good chuckle!
But seriously, Oscar, and ventriloquism, is terrifying. It’s a hobby I wish died anytime before I was born.
As for the rest of the contestants, there really weren’t that many. Good ones anyway. I think there were only 2 others that we actually saw get tickets to Hollywood. And they were Nate Tao (For Once in my Life) and Kayden Stephenson (I Wish). I liked both of them but I didn’t looovvveee either of them. As for Nate, I liked how he was sweet and how he wondered if his parents would hate his singing. I also wanted to hit Randy talking about being a singer when your parents are deaf. You know, I don’t know if you know this Mr. Jackson, but there are deaf people who can sing. It’s true. I actually just read a book, an autobiography in fact, where the girls mother, was a deaf singer. True story. That’s what “autobiography” means, Randy. (PS – it’s a great book written by comedian, Kambri Crews and it’s really good).
The final contestant, Kayden, was definitely one of the best of the nights but I think really that was just because of the amount of people who tried out. I still don’t think he should’ve been given a ticket to Hollywood (sorry but the sob story won on that audition) but I’m glad you can at least let this kid keep his hopes up and live out a dream to go try out. Now, something I think Kayden might be more interested in, the new drug helping to treat CF. Here’s to a long life full of music, Kayden! Good luck in your future endeavors, since it probably won’t include Idol after Hollywood week.
And that’s it. The auditions are ov-ah. I’ll be back before next week to talk about a few of my favorites! What I always think is so crazy about Hollywood week is that we’ve really only seen about what – 30, maybe 40 contestants that got golden tickets. They gave out at least that many at each stop, so there are still hundreds we haven’t seen! Hollywood week is just like, watching more auditions, except most of the people are good singers now (except you Zoanetta).