And the Winner Is…

I’m going to just kind of write this blog as I watch. I’m not going to go back and look at things, it’s just going to be free thinking all the way. I think that might make it best. I’m also going to include some twitter fun where necessary. And by where necessary, I mostly mean relating to Fantasia and Chaka.

I started the evening watching a little somethin’ something that Michael Slezak put together for me. It was a great way to get geared up for the night.

Was it just me or was everyone laughing at the first song? All the white, especially Jeremy Rosado being one of the first we saw. I will say Shannon Magrane is looking better than ever. Personally I’m just happy I still remember everyones names! I do like seeing the group together again but that styling is just – woah. I don’t even know what to say. Also, the girl dancer with the leg thing that brides wear (it’s escaping me what they are called – garter? Is that it?) but I genuinely thought her underwears were falling off at first. I’m glad that’s not the case.

Bringing out the judges, and Ryan and thankfully they all look relatively normal. And by they I mean Randy. I see the “Yo!” pin is back. Fitting. It was definitely his most popular in the twittesphere. I will say that I like his tie a lot.

I love that the contestants actually get to sing with real performers in the finale. I wish they could do that more throughout the season (sidenote – I should’ve done a blog about who I think they should perform with… didn’t think about that. Oh well. Too little too late) but I understand it’s a special night so you want to save that kind of stuff for last. I also can’t help but think that John Fogerty should be singing with Skylar (although ideally she’d sing with Reba or Martina). My favorite of the little CCR pairing was Bad Moon Rising. Phillip underestimates his fast singing. I know he likes the slow stuff but he does upbeat so well. It has me jonsing to hear Looking Out My Back Door.

The montage from the auditions just makes me want to watch auditions again. Come on x-factor! You can’t come soon enough! Has anyone been watching America’s Got Talent? It’s not really my bag but I did hear Howard Stern made a 7-year-old cry? Why are 7-year-olds allowed on that show? What’s minimum age for public embarrassment?

I’m noticing there’s some kind of “sparkle” theme going on with the show tonight.

I was forewarned of the interesting outfit choice of Fantasia but seeing it in real life… wow.

I’d like to quote my second mother because I think she said it best (I also included her spelling correction just so you know she does in fact know the difference between your and you’re)

I think Joshua would’ve looked better in that outfit to be honest. No matter the outfit though, I’m glad that Fantasia and Mantasia got to sing together. Maybe she could go on tour with them. Something tells me she doesn’t have a lot going on right now. It’s amazing how different she looks from when she won. Wow. Drugs are bad, kids. I thought it might be fitting to see what Twitter had to say about this. It needs to be done folks. I only put my Top 3 favorites.

1.

2.

3. Which I only included because this is my all-time favorite Lost blogger that I didn’t even know watches Idol. She’s practically the smartest person I almost know. She went to Harvard. And she wrote a book. Which, I read. I didn’t really understand it, but I read it. And I love her.

I think the montage of Jimmy saying Jennifer’s name wrong was the best thing on the show for me. Hilarious. My crush on Jimmy Loveline is jut growing with every second of this montage. I loved it so much. I may’ve rewound it. Especially when Nigel was like “I’m gonna come out and punch you”. At least he realized they would do it. So funny. So so funny.

And now we have the ladies, sparkling in all their glory. Hollie though, dearest, you look naked-sparkly. But, your boobs look HUGE! I don’t even think you look bad, just a little naked. This montage makes me miss Erika. Man she got voted off too early. I also now can’t wait for Skylar to sing something on her own. I really hope they let her. They should let her. I think Elise’s dress is my favorite.

And now that Chaka is out, I think I know what’s on all of your minds

Fashion Police: Who wore it better: Cat suit Edition

Winner: Not America. Maybe Chaka because she’s almost 60 so bitch does what she wants? I had to google how old she was because I noticed the men were helping her down the stairs and I was thinking – man, does she need that because she’s old, because she’s on a bunch of pills, or because that cat suit is so tight she’s having trouble breathing/walking? It could be any of the above I think.

I fast forwarded through Rihanna. I just wasn’t feeling her tonight. I might go back and watch it later but I just saw her on SNL and I’m sure that performance was just as good.

Oh lord. Doth my eyes deceive me? Is Skylar Laine singing with Reba MacIntyre in what I’ve wanted to happen the entire season? I can’t even believe how exciting awesome thrilling this is!!! This song had BETTER be available for d/l tomorrow! This makes me so freaking happy I can’t even stand it. Can Skylar still win this thing? Please? You all should see the shit eating grin I’m wearing right now. So happy.

Are sloths the new Chihuahua in Hollywood? I do love the sloths though. You guy have all seen this, right?  How about this? Watch the second one. Just do it. There’s nothing better you could do with these 2 minutes of your life. I promise. Now, the guy kissing Steven’s “sister” – um… really? What would I rather see, that, or Fantasia in a cat suit again? Hmm… continue the gross make out sesh.

And now back to Jessica. Wow, Whitney… how original. Jeez. I honestly don’t need to hear anymore Whitney this season. Luckily I probably won’t. I honestly didn’t even watch this. I just replayed Kristen Bell sloth auto-tune. I find it far more enjoyable.

Ok, Neil Diamond time! Colton is kind of ruining it but I’m assuming Neil is going to pop up. Heejun isn’t doing Neil much better. Where’s Neil? Can he come out now? He always makes me think of Saving Silverman.  If you haven’t seen it, get on that. I quote it regularly “But tomorrow is casual Friday!” (because I regularly have to dress up for court on Friday and it makes me angry) Back to Neil though. Shockingly I think Joshua did the most justice to Neil. The harmonies were there at least so that was good.  And here’s Neil! In a sparkly jacket no less! I expect nothing less from him to be honest. Wouldn’t it be great if Jack Black, Steve Zahn, and Jason Biggs came out to sing too?

Who else while watching this performance did the “So good, so good, so good!”? You’re not American if you didn’t, for the record.

And like Rihanna, I also fast forwarded through JLo. I mean come on. We’ve seen her 3 times now this season. Isn’t once enough???

Aw, marriage proposal on Idol? And you thought you didn’t remember who either of these people are. I did forget Diana had the southern accent. This is really the only acceptable time to propose on Idol though. When you were both performers from Idol. That’s the only way. But that was really sweet, even though he name dropped the designer of the ring to most likely get it for free (I would do that too, for the record). Still sweet. I teared up a little bit, how can you not? While it was entirely too long of a drawn out proposal question, it was sweet that his hands were all shakey.

And now we have Hollie. Eh. Didn’t love that Hollie while she was by herself. I wonder who her dream performing partner is. It can’t be Jordin Sparks, right? That dress is hot though, Jordin! That’s how you do it Fantasia, in case you were wondering. And for some reason Hollie sounds better now that she’s singing with Jordan. How does that work?

Well, this was the commercial break where I caught up. Blerg. I’ll try not to type too much during the commercials. Or else this thing could get REALLY long. Maybe I’ll just look for more pictures to add in (which I did. You’re welcome).

And now we have a BeeGees tribute. Wasn’t there supposed to be a Donna Summer tribute? Did I miss that? I think DeAndre is the man that can handle the BeeGee songs, of this group of guys. The guys together actually sound pretty horrible with this one. Seriously though, when was the last time we saw Phillip? Is he hooked up to an IV drip in the back? I’m just saying, this is the finale, I want to see just a little more of the final 2. And by final 2, I think you all know I mean Phillip.

It’s kind of amazing to see Jessica singing with the original singer of this song. I’ve heard this song so so so many times on Idol, on my Ipod, it’s nice to hear the real version. The version I have is from the movie Dreamgirls so it’s not Holliday singing it. I like her! She’s a fierce diva. That wig is moving like it’s not attached to her head. Jessica could learn a thing or two. And the faces she made. (Jennifer, not Jessica – haha). Hilarious. She looked like a mixture of a lion, Mr. Rogers, and a few other hysterical things. This sums up my feelings.

Luckily, shortly thereafter I found this. You’re going to need to watch that, immediately. Thanks. Do it now. I’ll wait.

Man I wish I could skip Aerosmith. Wait, I can, I can just watch this again for 3 minutes! Yes! Yes that’s right, I found the performance online within minutes. You should probably watch that too. I imagine that at this point in your morning you’re already bored with work so just do it.

Now it’s time for a finalist duet I see. Great song. I love the outfits for this one. And the choir in the background. We all know I’m a sucker for a choir.

Before we finish tonight, there are some things I would like to say, I know I bashed Jessica a lot, but I need to say something about Phillips chest hair. It just aint working folks.

And now, the winner issssssssssssssss…. Phillip? Please Phillip? This is so intense.

YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now go get those kidneys fixed before you die, please.

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Categories: American Idol, Television | 1 Comment

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One thought on “And the Winner Is…

  1. 1day4me

    Funny as always Kelly!

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