Glee on Idol, What If?

I know I already had 2 Glee/Idol crossover posts. But… I thought of another one, so I couldn’t deprive you. Glee does this to me. For this one I imagined, what would it look like if Glee kids auditioned for Idol? What would they sing? Would the kids who shine on Glee, shine on the great Idol stage? I certainly think the dynamic would be different. In my head, most members would clearly make it to the Top 10, without the bat of an eyelash. Finn is my exception. I think we all have to realize he’s never sung a thing on Glee that’s made me swoon. Sorry Miss Berry, I just don’t see what you see in him. In his defense if I was to do a Top 12, Finn would sing I Can’t Fight This Feeling. And because I said Top 12, Sam Evans would sing his version of Baby (and probably on the real show he’d knock Tina Cohen-Chang out in a hot second thanks to the voting population). In my version, they wouldn’t crack the top 10 though. I love too many other songs by other singers, to include them.

So, the top 10 that I would pick, would be as follows:

Artie Abrams
Blaine Anderson
Rachel Berry
Tina Cohen-Chang
Quinn Fabray
Kurt Hummel
Mercedes Jones
Santana Lopez
Brittany S. Pierce
Noah Puckerman

So the question is, what would the audition look like? What would their group songs be? Well, if we’re going by my favorite songs, which we are because this is my blog, it would look a little something like this –

Artie would go first because he’s probably the weakest of the group and needs a little push (like the push you get from going first). He’d sing “Dancing With Myself” which was one of my favorite performances on Glee, to date. I can’t even fast forward it when it comes up on my ipod.

Next up would be Quinn Fabray. While my favorite song of hers is a duet with Rachel, my second favorite sing she sings is her version of “It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World“. And that’s an Idol favorite so it would of course be a hit. I like her version because her voice is higher than most women who’ve sung this song, but I think she just slayed it. She was such a bad ass in Season 1.

The third position within the Top 10 can be a little forgettable so why not throw in someone who even Gleeks forget about, Tina Cohen-Chang. She’s one of the better, more unique singers on the show but this isn’t her season, next year though. She’s like the Season 10 Colton Dixon. To prove she wasn’t going down without a fight, she would sing True Colors, and everyone would love her for those three minutes.

We’d then go with our first show stopper of the night. Rachel Berry. I know, you’d think she’d be the show stopping end of the night lady, but Idol’s not her bag. This isn’t the show where she goes last. But she would definitely be top 5. Now, what would she sing? Well, the real Rachel Berry would sing something from Barbra, but in my Idol dream world, she would sing “On My Own” from Les Miserables. I know Randy doesn’t want Broadway (because he’s an idiot) but teeny boppers don’t want to hear Streisand, and they are the actual voters. Finally, lets be real, like she’d sing anything other than something from the great white way?

Then after Broadway, I think we’d need some sex appeal. That would be why Brittany S. Pierce made it into the Top 10. And what’s more sex appeal than “Tik Tok” by Ke$ha? She barely even qualifies as a singer which is what makes this song so perfect. It’s because Brittany, in my opinion, actually sings better than Ke$ha. Minus that whole part on Glee where she pukes at the end. That was barely her fault though. I’d blame Rachel.

Then we would hit it up with a slightly toned down but still sexy appeal, because she’s Brittany’s girlfriend and to be honest, a way better singer, Santana Lopez. Her best song, isn’t even a question for me. It would be “Valerie“, from Mark Ronson and Amy Winehouse. This song was perfect for Santana. I think it might have been her first solo performance on the show in general. And for Idol purposes, it would be like Elise when she sang “Whole Lotta Love”. You never really thought she’d win but that song put her right in the running.

After all those ladies, we’d have to get some testosterone into the room. Who better than Noah Puckerman. That guy oozes testosterone. What song would he sing? My vote would be “Hot for Teacher“. It was by far my favorite performance of his. He’d certainly win a lot of ladies over with that song. And, he’d HAVE to play the guitar.

In the idol formula, we’d need another show stopper after Puck performs. Who’s the opposite of Puck? Well that would be Kurt. Picking a single song for Kurt to sing would be very difficult. I like SO SO many of his songs. The best I could do was narrow it down to two. New Directions Kurt Hummel, would sing Single Ladies because he looked FIERCE in that leotard. If this was Warblers Kurt Hummel, he would sing “Blackbird” and there wouldn’t be a dry eye in the house, especially if you remember him singing it on Glee. (Why there are no good videos of either of these performances is beyond me). I’ll go with Blackbird and leave Single Ladies for the Duet performances since “technically” Tina and Brittany were a part of the song too.

Next up would be Blaine and he’d be fun and current, rocking out to the first song he ever sang on Glee, “Teenage Dream“. It’s where I fell in love with him. It’s where everyone fell in love with him, including Kurt. How could it not be the song he sings?

Finally, our show stopper, THE show stopper, if Idol has any say. It’s Mizz Amber Riley, aka Mercedes Jones. And what would she sing? Well, what every diva wishes was their show stopper, “And I’m Telling You, I’m Not Going” from Dreamgirls. It would be an homage to JHud. And if anyone can pay tribute to her, it’s Mercedes. She would kill it, judges would stand and wave, praising every moment of her performance and Randy would crown her queen, even though they were only in the Top 10.

Now, try to tell me that wouldn’t be an awesome night of Glee. I realize it would be a theme-less night but lets just pretend, since this is my dreamworld, that the theme is Glee.

As for duets,  and group performances, well this is where it’s difficult. For one because it’s impossible to pick just one song in which Rachel Berry is a part of. It’s impossible. What can I say? Some things just are, and Rachel is one of those things.

Let’s start with duets, which are always my favorite performances on Glee. They would probably look a little something like this, in no particular order:

Santana and Mercedes – Rumor Has It/Someone Like You (best song ever performed on Glee? Possibly)

Rachel and Kurt – Wicked Medley (Defying Gravity/For Good/Popular. I know they’ve never sung Popular but medleys are 3 songs so get over it).

Mercedes and Rachel – Take Me or Leave Me

Kurt, Tina and Brittany – Single Ladies

Santana and Brittany – Me Against the Music

The group songs would be:

Born This Way, by Lady Gaga

Marry You, by Bruno Mars

My Life Would Suck Without You (homage to Kelly Clarkson)

We are Young, by Fun.

Sing by My Chemical Romance

Finally, if they made it to some kind of round where famous people came to sing with them, we would see:

April Rhodes (Kristen Chenoweth) and Rachel singing Maybe This Time (which is another song I refuse to fast forward, ever).

Jessie St. James (Jonathan Groff) and Rachel singing Rolling in the Deep

The Spanish Teacher (Ricky Martin) and New Directions singing Sexy and I know It (because he is and he does).

And anything Shelby Corcoran (Idina Menzel) wants to sing, because she’s amazing and she’s never sung a song I haven’t liked. If I could pick, I’d probably say I Dreamed a Dream, or Poker Face, both with Rachel.

I’d like to add an Uncle Jessie song but he never sang anything with the group that really won me over. That can also be said of Rachel’s dads.

Categories: American Idol, Television | Leave a comment

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